A guy was driving around the back roads of Buderim when he saw a sign in front of a broken down shanty-style house: ' Talking Dog for Sale ' .He rings the bell and the owner appears and tells him the dog is in the backyard. The guy goes into the back yard and sees a nice looking Beagle sitting there.' Do you talk? ' he asks. ' Yep, ' the Beagle replies.After the guy recovers from the shock of hearing a dog talk, he says ' So, what ' s your... [ Continue reading... ]
A passenger in a taxi leaned over to ask the driver a question and tapped him on the shoulder.The driver screamed, lost control of the cab, nearly hit a bus, drove up over the curb, and stopped just inches from a large plate glass window.For a few moments everything was silent in the cab, and then the still shaking driver said, 'I'm sorry, but you scared the daylights out of me.'The frightened passenger apologized to the driver and said he... [ Continue reading... ]
IT Projects.... (Ultimate....)Client has 2 cows and you need to milk them1 . First prepare a document when to milk them (Project kick off)2 . Prepare a document how long you have to milk them (Project plan)3 . Then prepare how to milk them (Design)4 . Then prepare what other accessories are needed to milk them (Framework)5 . Then prepare a 2 dummy cows (sort of toy cows) and show to client the way in which u will milk them (UI Mockups &... [ Continue reading... ]
A woman came home, screeching her car into the driveway, and ran into the house. She slammed the door and shouted at the top of her lungs, 'Honey, pack your bags. I won the lottery!'
The husband said, 'Oh my God! What should I pack, beach stuff or mountain stuff?'
'Doesn't matter,' she said. 'Just get out.' [ Continue reading... ]
A man checks into an hotel on a business trip and was a bit lonely.He thought of one of those girls you see advertised in phone boothswhen you're calling for a cab.He popped into a phone booth near the hotel and found an ad for a girl calling herself Erogonique, a lovely girl, bending over in the photo.She had all the right curves in all the right places, beautiful long wavy hair, long graceful legs....... well, you get the picture!He copied the... [ Continue reading... ]
A college professor was doing a study testing the senses of first year schoolchildren, using a bowl of fruit Polos.He gave all the children the same kind of Polo, one at a time, and asked them to identify them by colour and flavour.The children began to say:'Red............cherry,''Yellow.........lemon,''Green............lime,'' Orange ........orange.'Finally the professor gave them all honey Polos. After eating them for a few moments none of... [ Continue reading... ]
Adam was hanging around the garden of Eden feeling very lonely.So, God asked him, 'What's wrong with you?'Adam said he didn't have anyone to talk to.God said that He was going to make Adam a companion and that it would be a woman.He said, 'This pretty lady will gather food for you, she will cook for you, and when you discover clothing, she will wash them for youShe will always agree with every decision you make and she will not nag you,and will... [ Continue reading... ]
Q: Doctor, I've heard that cardiovascular exercise can prolong life. Is this true? A: Your heart is only good for so many beats, and that's it... don't waste them on exercise. Everything wears out eventually. Speeding up your heart will not make you live longer; that's like saying you can extend the life of your car by driving it faster. Want to live longer? Take a nap.Q: Should I cut down on meat and eat more fruits and vegetables? A: You must... [ Continue reading... ]
A Glasgow man walks into a bank in Glasgow and asks for the loan officer. He tells the loan officer that he is going to Australia on business for two weeks and needs to borrow £5,000. The bank officer tells him that the bank will need some form of security for the loan, so the Glasgow lad hands over the keys and documents of new Ferrari parked on the street in front of the bank. He produces the Log Book and everything checks out. The loan... [ Continue reading... ]
