Birthday Game
0 Responses
Jun
29
2011
ZEN Teachings
0 Responses
Do not walk behind me, for I may not lead. Do not walk ahead of me, for I may not follow. Do not walk beside me for the path is narrow.. In fact, just piss off and leave me alone.Sex is like air. It's not that important unless you aren't getting any.No one is listening until you fart.Always remember you're unique. Just like everyone else.Never test the depth of the water with both feet.If you think nobody cares whether you're alive or dead,... [ Continue reading... ]
Jun
22
2011
Present
0 Responses
Bruce comes home one day and says to his lover, "Please do me a favor. It feels like something's stuck up my ass. Could you check it out for me?" His roommate lubes up his finger (mercifully) and shoves it up Bruce's ass, feeling all around, and says, "I don't feel anything."Bruce says, "Trust me, there's something up there. Try lubing up your whole hand and checking it out." So his roommate lubes his whole hand and sticks it up Bruce's... [ Continue reading... ]
Jun
15
2011
Hungry Cannibals
0 Responses
Two cannibals, wandering around in the desert for days without food, hungry and desolate, all of a sudden, to their delight, they stumble upon a dead human carcass, pristine from any scavenger, so the two cannibals sink their teeth into the dead human flesh, tearing it apart, one starting from the head and one from the toes.After a few minutes of eating, the guy at the head yells to the cannibal at the bottom, "hey, how is it going down... [ Continue reading... ]
Jun
15
2011
15 things that SEX and PARKING SPACES share in common
0 Responses
You should never have to wait to find one You should be able to slide right into oneSpaces in the front are always the bestWhen no front spaces are available, spaces in the rear will always sufficeIt sucks when someone else is double-parkedYour space should still be open and waiting when you get backIt's a tragedy when you have a 'full-size' car but there are only compact' spacesA full-size car is good to findPeople are willing to wait in line... [ Continue reading... ]
Jun
6
2011
Terms to Know
0 Responses
TRAFFIC LIGHT -- apparatus that automatically turns red when your car approaches.DIVORCE -- postgraduate in School of Love.PIONEER -- early American who was lucky enough to find his way out of the woods.PEOPLE -- some make things happen, some watch things happen, and the majority has no idea what's happened.SWIMMING POOL -- a mob of people with water in it.SELF-CONTROL -- the ability to eat only one peanut.SALESMAN -- man with ability to... [ Continue reading... ]
Jun
3
2011
Dating Women : Around the World
0 Responses
1. WHITE WOMEN:a. First date: You get to kiss her goodnight.b. Second date: You get to grope all over and make out a bit. c. Third date: You get to have sex but only in the missionary position.2. IRISH WOMEN:a. First Date: You both get blind drunk and have sex.b. Second Date: You both get blind drunk and have sex.c. 20th Anniversary: You both get blind drunk and have sex.3. ITALIAN WOMEN:a. First Date: You take her to a play and an expensive... [ Continue reading... ]
May
27
2011
Everything has a Gender
0 Responses
You may not know this but many nonliving things have a gender. A Web Page is Female, because it's always getting hit on. A Subway is Male, because it uses the same old lines to pick people up. Ziploc Bags are Male, because they hold everything in, but you can see right through them. Copiers are Female, because once turned off; it takes a while to warm them up again. It's an effective reproductive device if the right buttons are pushed, but... [ Continue reading... ]
May
19
2011
Mouse in the house
0 Responses
A : I'm in a big trouble! B: Why is that? A: I saw a mouse in my house! B: Oh, well, all you need to do is use a trap. A: I don't have one. B: Well then, buy one. A: Can't afford one. B: I can give you mine if you want. A: That sounds good. B: All you need to do is just use some cheese in order to make the mouse come to the trap. A: I don't have any cheese. B: Okay then, take a piece of bread and put a bit of oil in it and put it in the trap. A:... [ Continue reading... ]
Apr
18
2011
