It was the first day of school, and the elementary school teacher was establishing the fact that she'd take no nonsense from the kiddies this year.
While taking the roll, she was told by one boy "My name is Johnny Fuckhauer".
So she said "There'll be none of that kind of thing this year, Johnny; tell me your REAL name!".
The kid said "No, really teacher, it is Johnny Fuckhauer.
You can go across the hall to fourth grade and ask my brother if... [ Continue reading... ]
Little Johnny was in his math's class one day when the teacher singled him out.
"If I gave you $20," the teacher began," and you gave $5 to Mary, $5 to Sally and $5 to Susan, what would you have?"
"An orgy," Johnny answered. [ Continue reading... ]
Little Johnny was assigned a paper on childbirth and asked his mother, "How was I born?"
"The stork brought you to us." "Oh," said Little Johnny. "Well, how did you and daddy get born?" he asked.
"Oh, the stork brought us too." "So. . . how were grandpa and grandma born?"
"Well, darling, the stork brought them too," said the mother.
The next day Little Johnny handed in his paper to the teacher.
It read, "This report is impossible... [ Continue reading... ]
Teacher: "Johnny, can you tell me the name of 3 great kings who have brought happiness and peace into people's lives?"
Little Johnny: Drin-king, smo-king, and f*^c-king. [ Continue reading... ]
One fine afternoon a gentleman was walking down the street; and as he came around the corner he spotted a young boy sitting in front of the local candy shop. As he approached, he realized it was his neighbor's kid - Little Johnny.The boy was shoving sweet tarts and chocolate bars down his throat as fast as possible, so much that it prompted the man to offer some advice: "You know, Johnny, it's not healthy to eat all that candy."Little... [ Continue reading... ]
A third grade teacher always took role call each morning and had the pupils’ answer by reciting a short poem. The first kid sat in the first row was a teachers pet. He stood and said, "My name is Dan, and when I become a man, I would like to go to Japan if I can, and I think I can." The next kid was a little girl who sat in the middle of the room. She stood up and answered the roll call by stating, "My name is Suzy, and when I become a... [ Continue reading... ]
Little Johnny walks into school one day to find a substitute in place of his regular teacher.She says "Hello class, I'm Mrs. Prussy. When you say my name class remember it has an "r" after the first letter"The entire class says "Hello Mrs. Prussy"A few days later the regular teacher gets sick again.When Johnny gets to his desk the teacher asks if he remembers what her name is.Johnny thinks hard and the says to the teacher "I Remember it has... [ Continue reading... ]
There's a teacher in a small Texas town. She asks her class how many of them are Bush fans. Not really knowing what a Bush fan is, but wanting to be liked by the teacher, all the kids raise their hands except one boy - Johnny.The teacher asks Johnny why he has decided to be different. Johnny says, "I'm not a Bush fan."The teacher says, "Why aren't you a Bush fan?"Johnny says, "I'm a John F. Kerry fan." The teacher asks why he's a Kerry fan. The... [ Continue reading... ]
The teacher asked the class to use the word 'fascinate' in a sentence.Molly put up her hand and said, 'My family went to my granddad's farm and we all saw his pet sheep. It was fascinating.'The teacher said, 'That was good, but I wanted you to use the word fascinate, not fascinating'.Sally raised her hand. She said, 'My family went to see Rock City and I was fascinated.'The teacher said, 'Well, that was good Sally, but I also wanted you to use... [ Continue reading... ]
