Huge Collection of Jokes Online
On wisdom, Confucius say... Man who walk through airport turnstile sideways going to Bangkok. Man who run in front of car get tired. Man who run behind car get exhausted. Man with one chopstick go hungry. Baseball is wrong: man with four balls cannot walk. War not determine who is right, war determine who is left. Man who drive like hell, bound to get there. Man who stand on toilet is high on pot. Man who live in glass... [ Continue reading... ]
All quotes 100% authentic, and courtesey of George W. Bush. "I think we can agree. The past is over." "I have learned from mistakes I may or may not have made." "It was just inebreating what the Midlands was all about then." (A slip on exhillerating) "It's clearly the budget. It has a lot of numbers on it." "The most important job is not to be governor, or first lady in my case." "Will highways on the internet become more... [ Continue reading... ]
1. When Snake is alive, Snake eats Ants.When Snake is dead, Ants eat Snake.Time can turn at any time.Don't neglect anyone in your life........ ...2. Never make the same mistake twice,There are so many new ones,Try a different one each day.3. A good way to change someone's attitude is to change our own.Because, the same sun melts butter, also hardens clay!Life is as we think, so think beautifully.4. Life is just like a sea, we are moving without... [ Continue reading... ]
A pessimist is a man who thinks all women are bad. An optimist is a man who hopes they are. I`m too shy to express my sexual needs except over the phone to people I don't know. It's the good girls who keep the diaries; the bad girls never have the time.Girls have an unfair advantage over men: if they can't get what they want by being smart, they can get it by being dumb.A good sermon should be like a woman's skirt: short enough to arouse... [ Continue reading... ]
63% of all statistics are made up... including this one. Accept that some days you are the pigeon and some days the statue. All of your co-workers are fools. You must learn to pity and tolerate them. An optimist is simply a pessimist with no job experience. And bring me a hard copy of the Internet so I can do some serious surfing. Change is good. You go first. Consultants have credibility because they are not dumb enough to work at your company.... [ Continue reading... ]
I would not allow this employee to breed.This associate is really not so much of a has-been, but more definitely a won't be.Works well when under constant supervision and cornered like a rat in a trap.When she opens her mouth, it seems it is only to change whichever foot was previously there.He would be out of his depth in a parking lot puddle.This young lady has delusions of adequacy.He sets low personal standards and then consistently fails to... [ Continue reading... ]
1. I think part of a best friend's job should be to immediately clear your computer history if you die. 2. Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you realize you're wrong. 3. I totally take back all those times I didn't want to nap when I was younger. 4. There is great need for a sarcasm font. 5. How the heck are you supposed to fold a fitted sheet? 6. Was learning cursive really necessary? 7. Map Quest really needs to... [ Continue reading... ]
1. So many men, so few who can afford me. 2. God made us sisters; Prozac made us friends. 3. If they don't have chocolate in heaven, I ain't going. 4. At my age, I've seen it all, done it all, heard it all...I just can't remember it all. 5. My Mother is a travel agent for guilt trips. 6. Princess, having had sufficient experience with princes, seeks frog. 7. Coffee, chocolate, men . . . Some things are just better rich. 8. Don't treat me any... [ Continue reading... ]
Somebody has said there are only two kinds of people in the world. There are those who wake up in the morning and say, "Good morning, Lord," and there are those who wake up in the morning and say, "Good Lord, it's morning." [ Continue reading... ]
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