The Perfect Computer
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Jan
13
2012
New computer viruses
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Elvis virus: Your computer gets fat, slow and lazy, then self destructs only to resurface at shopping malls and service stations across rural America. Congressional virus: The computer locks up, screen splits erratically with a message appearing on each half blaming the other side for the problem. Government Economist virus: Nothing works, but all your diagnostic software says everything is fine. Federal Bureaucrat virus: Divides your... [ Continue reading... ]
Dec
16
2011
This is how the internet started
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In ancient Israel, it came to pass that a trader by the name of Abraham Com did take unto himself a young wife by the name of Dot. And Dot Com was a comely woman, broad of shoulder and long of leg. Indeed, she had been called Amazon Dot Com. She said unto Abraham, her husband, "Why doth thou travel far from town to town with thy goods when thou can trade without ever leaving thy tent?" And Abraham did look at her as though she were several... [ Continue reading... ]
Aug
18
2011
Computer FAQ’s (The Shift Key)
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Q. Why are there are no "shift" keys on my keyboard, but there are two keys labeled "hif"? A. Again, you may want to consider cleaning your keyboard, and washing your hands more frequently for that matter. --- Q. Are there shift keys on my Macintosh? A. Yes, although instead of the notation "shift", the key may be labeled with an excited Mac face, something like :O . Press this key to use shift, and be thankful you're using a... [ Continue reading... ]
Aug
11
2011
French Computer
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A language instructor was explaining to her class that in French, nouns unlike their English counterparts, are grammatically designated as masculine or feminine. "'House,' in French, is feminine - 'la maison' and 'Pencil,' in French, is masculine 'le crayon.'" One puzzled student asked, "What gender is 'computer'?" The teacher did not know, and the word wasn't in her French dictionary. So for fun she split the class into two groups... [ Continue reading... ]
Jul
12
2011
