Huge Collection of Jokes Online
A guy enters a confessional booth in a church and says to the priest with guilt.......... "I had an affair....almost" The priest says "what do you mean.........almost?" The guy says "well we got undressed and rubbed against each other, but then I stopped"... "In the eyes of the lord rubbing against each other is the same as putting it in" says the priest..' "for your penance say 5 hail Marys and put some money in the poor box". The... [ Continue reading... ]
A few minutes before church services start, everyone is sitting in their pews and talking. Suddenly, in a flash of light and a puff of smoke, Satan appears. The people scream and run out, trampling each other in a frantic effort to get away from Evil Incarnate. In seconds everyone is gone except for one elderly gentleman sitting calmly in his pew. Satan walks up to the old man and says, "Don't you know who I am?" The man replies, "Yep, sure... [ Continue reading... ]
One morning a man came into the church on crutches. He stopped in front of the holy water, put some on both legs, and then threw away his crutches. An alter boy witnessed the scene and then ran into the rectory to tell the priest what he'd just seen. "Son, you've just witnessed a miracle," the priest said. "Tell me where is this man now?" "Flat on his arse over by the holy water," said the boy. [ Continue reading... ]
The minister of a small congregation was about to start his sermon when he noticed a young woman in the front row, wearing a tight dress with her boobs almost hanging out. He couldn't concentrate on his message to the flock, so he dismissed the service and asked to speak to the woman after everyone else left the church. When they were alone, the reverend said in his sternest lecturing voice. "Just what do you mean, coming to church... [ Continue reading... ]
A guy goes into the confessional box after years being away from the Church.He pulls aside the curtain, enters and sits himself down. There's a fully equipped bar with crystal glasses, the best vestry wine, Guinness on tap, cigars and liqueur chocolates nearby, and on the wall a fine photographic display of buxom ladies who appear to have mislaid their garments. He hears a priest come in: "Father, forgive me for it's been a very long... [ Continue reading... ]
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