There was a little boy with a bad attitude.
He was at home one day doing his chores. He was feeding the chickens and he got mad and kicked one across the yard.
He was feeding the hogs and got mad and kicked the hell out of one of them also.
He was milking the cow and it kept hitting him in the face with its tail so he kicked it, too.
His mom had been watching him and told him he couldn't have any chicken, beef, or pork for a month because he... [ Continue reading... ]
A guy walks into a whore house and says, "I have been out at sea for a whole f*cking year, I want the wildest craziest wh*re you've got!"
The madam says, "that would be Hurricane Helga up in 4B."
So the guy goes up and knocks on 4B. The door suddenly opens and he is yanked inside. The lady in the room starts screaming at the top of her lungs in his ear.
"WHAT YOU HEAR IS THE WIND OF HURRICANE HELGA!"
She then grabs him and throws him... [ Continue reading... ]
Fresh from my shower, I stand in front of the mirror, complaining to my husband that my breasts are too small.
Instead of automatically telling me it's not so, he uncharacteristically comes up with a suggestion:
"If you want your breasts to grow, then every day take a piece of toilet paper and rub it between your breasts for a few seconds."
Willing to try anything, I fetch a piece of toilet paper and I stand in front of the mirror,... [ Continue reading... ]
A man comes home from work one day and he says to his wife, "Honey, I got a new secretary, and imagine what happened! She's got a red and white bra. You know, these are the colors of my favorite football team. Anyway, it's not a big deal but it feels good."
The next day when they come home his wife asks, "How was your day?"
The man say, "Fantastic! It's not only her bra that is red and white but also her panties. You know it's not a big deal... [ Continue reading... ]
In 1993, the American Government funded a study to see why the Head of a Penis was bigger than the rest of it.
After one year and $180,000.00, they concluded that the reason the head was larger than the shaft was to give the man more pleasure during sex.
After the US published the study, France decided to do their own. After $250,000.00, and 3 years of research, they concluded that the reason was to give the woman more pleasure during... [ Continue reading... ]
Little Freddy was puzzled as to his origin.
"How did I get here, Mommy?"
His mother said, using a well-worn phrase, "God sent you."
"And did God send YOU, too Mommy?"
"Yes, Freddy, He did."
"And GRANDMA and GREAT GRANDMA and DADDY, too?"
Again the answer was "Yes, Freddy, He did." Little Freddy shook his head in disbelief.
"Then you mean to tell me there's been no "f*cking" in this family for 100 years?!?!?
No wonder everyone is so... [ Continue reading... ]
Once a girl is quite fantasized about "69". She has a regular boyfriend they have never done it before.
One day she invites her boyfriend to her apartment for romantic dinner.
After heavy dinner, she tells him that she wants to do "69".
But the Boyfriend doesn't have any idea about what is 69. Girlfriend gets upset but thinks that she can teach him how to do 69. she asks him to lay down...and she then lays on top of him in reverse... [ Continue reading... ]
